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You have done well to make it this far. Unfortunately for you, your journey ends here.
~ The Beast
YOU LITTLE SHIT!
~ The Beast getting angry with Joe.

The Beast With Nothing Better to Do, also simply known as The Beast, is the final boss and main antagonist of the 2013 online video game Destroy the Porn. It is a giant evil demon that serves as a comedic parody of the Beast from Abrahamic religion.

Biography

After a man named Joe dies, he goes to Hell and meets the devil. However, he pleads to go back for just one minute, as he left a lot of porn in his house and he would be devastated if his mother ever found it, worried for both her health and his memory. The devil agrees, but tells him that the only way to get back to Earth is to complete Hell's Labyrinth and slay the Beast at the end. Joe agrees and sets off.

After fighting through demons, mazes, lava, spikes, and other obstacles, Joe eventually reaches the end of the Labyrinth, where the Beast is waiting for him. The Beast threatens him, but Joe simply asks why the Beast is even trying to stop people from completing the Labyrinth and going back to Earth. The Beast admits that it is because he is simply bored and has nothing better to do.

The Beast and Joe then begin their battle. The Beast summons deadly missiles that fly at Joe, trying to blow him up. After Joe dodges them, the Beast then proceeds to use his hovering stone fists to aim and punch at Joe. If Joe jumps high enough at the right time, the fist will hit the spikes on the wall and damage itself, falling to the floor. Joe then takes this opportunity to use his shotgun to destroy the fist, to which the Beast will lash out.

The Beast will regain his composure, then repeat his attack with the missiles. If Joe dodges again, it will attack with its other fist in the same way as the first time, to which Joe can thwart it the same way. After destroying the second fist, the Beast will become livid and summon more missiles. If Joe dodges these last ones, the Beast will attack with its head, smashing and biting at Joe. Joe manages to knock the head out of the air by making it hit the spikes, like he did with the fists. Once the head is down, Joe can finish it off with his shotgun.

After beating the Beast, the Beast will honor Joe's victory and ask him where on Earth it should send Joe with its final breath. Joe requests his home in Santa Ana, California, and the Beast agrees. After sending Joe home, the Beast wonders why anyone would want to go to Santa Ana, then explodes and dies. Joe destroys his porn and returns to Hell later.

Personality

The Beast is bored, and really has nothing else to do but oppose the hero. It is cryptic and fierce, but also dimwitted. It attacks with only the same two tactics, both of which are easily dodged and/or exploited. It does get more angry and wrathful as it continues to be bested, but shows honor when it is defeated, giving its opponent what they seek and peacefully acknowledging their victory before dying.

Appearance

The Beast appears as a giant floating golden stone humanoid head and fists. The fists appear like gauntlets, with three rings towards the ends. The head appears like that of a human male, but with pointed ears, short hair, and two rounded white horns protruding from the forehead. It also has red eyes and an elongated nose.

Gallery

Trivia

  • According to the casting in the credits, the Beast named his left hand "Lefty" and his right hand "Mittens".
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