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| “ | I will lift the curse IF you bring me the single thing that I desire, but it is the rarest of the rare. Are you familiar with the movie Cats!? Well, legend has it that a version of the movie exists, where all the cats have exposed buttholes! It must be mine! | „ |
| ~ The Witch |
The Witch is a one-time villain from the Netflix original series, Paradise P.D., appearing in the episode "The Butt Cut". She is an evil witch, who is a descendant from a long line of evil witches, dating as far back as the era of The Salem Witch Trials of the 1690's. She was later revealed to actually by Stanley Hopson in disguise.
She is voiced by Dana Snyder, who also voices her alter-ego, Stanley Hopson.
Biography[]
In "The Butt Cut", Hopson told Randall about a curse in the latter's family tree, causing all of the men in The Crawford Family to die at age 50. He stated how many years ago, Randall's great ancestor, Claudius Crawford burned 200 witches at the stake, resulting in a curse being bestowed upon himself and all future generations of his family. Since Randall's scheduled time of death was coming up, he had to venture out into the caves to find a descendant of the witches so that he could reverse the curse.
Randall found a witch, aptly named "The Witch", who initially refused to reverse Randall's curse, until he begged her that he'd do anything in exchange for it. The Witch agreed to help Randall if he got her a fabled version of the 2019 remake of the movie "Cats", where all of the cats had exposed buttholes. Randall promised to get her the butt cut of Cats but not before attempting to kill her with water a few times.
Randall finally got the butt cut of Cats from the Nipple Temple in Peru and went to bring it back to The Witch. The Witch randomly appeared in the temple with Randall and held him at gunpoint, demanding he hand over the butt cut of Cats, which he did. However, she did not reverse his curse, as per her promise. The Witch admitted that the whole time, she wasn't really a witch but just Hopson in disguise as a witch. As Hopson, he admitted that he made up the whole Crawford Curse as an elaborate ploy to get Randall to get him the butt cut of Cats. Randall was so mad about this, he attempted to murder Hopson but ended up shooting an invisible horse dead instead.
Trivia[]
- Randall's unsuccessful attempts at murdering the witch by pouring water on her are inspired by the movie, Wizard of Oz, where Dorothy killed The Wicked Witch of the West by dumping water on her.
