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| “ | Goddamnit, Thester! You're so bloody stupid! Your laugh sounds like shite! Just say the word, boss and I'll build a time machine and go back and kill my pregnant mum! Or better yet, I'll go back even further and suck myself right out of my old man's tallywacker! | „ |
| ~ Thester threatening to kill himself. |
Thester Carbomb IV is a major antagonist in Paradise P.D. He is the sidekick of Gerald Fitzgerald and the secondary antagonist of Season 2. He is a short British drug dealer of houndstooth meth and an incompetent, moronic boob, who intentionally messes up his own evil deeds, worrying more about being funny than being successful.
He is voiced by Dana Snyder, who also voiced Dusty Marlow, Stanley Hopson, and Clovis from the same show.
Biography[]
Thester first appeared in the episode "Paradise Found", where he was helping Fitz with his evil plan. It was a running gag for Thester to make stupid mistakes and then threaten to kill himself, whenever he was called out on his stupidity. At the end of the episode, Thester made the first intelligent decision of his career, when he assembled together a team of villains to aid Fitz with his evil plans, in a villainous organization called the Legion of Dooooom.
In "Big Ball Energy", Fitz called Thester to ask him about the new drug, houndstooth meth, that was plaguing the streets of Paradise and causing competition for their own drug business. Thester said that he bought a ton of houndstooth meth, which hindered their own company.
In "Tucker Carlson is a Huge Dick", Thester drove a truck full of highly explosive material for making houndstooth meth and drove it over a rocky road of potholes, which nearly led to the truck exploding. They were later kidnapped by Gal-Qaeda, who stole Fitz' name for their evil plan. Fitz told Thester to haggle with them for who gets ownership of the title and Thester simply handed it over to Gal-Qaeda.
In "Who Ate Wally's Waffles?", Thester and Frank Flipperfist planted a timebomb on Randall Crawford's police car to try and kill him. However, Kevin saved Randall and the plan failed.
In "The Father, The Son, and The Holy Post-It Note", Thester put all the money the Legion of Dooooom made off of selling houndstooth meth into a storage unit, which he lost custody of, having not paid the rent on account of all his money being trapped in said storage unit. Thester had to help Fitz get the money back by going to Miss Geraldine's house (the current owner of the money) and trick her into giving it back.
In "Paradise P.D. Meets Brickleberry", Thester tracked down Paradise P.D. in Brickleberry National Park after they fled the city to escape the unholy of reign of Fitz, after he had previously gained mayoral power in "Flip the Vote".
In "Operation DD", Thester tracked the cops down and revealed to them that he was actually a hero pretending to be a villain, working for Fitz. He said that he was a psychologist, who was trying to cure Fitz of his evil personality. Fitz used to be a good cop who worked for the Chicago P.D. but during a fight with the drug-dealing criminal, The Kingpin, Fitz got caught in an explosion, which nearly killed him and succeeded in killing The Kingpin. This incident gave Fitz PTSD and Multiple Personality Disorder. Fitz developed an alternate personality of The Kingpin and so Thester worked as his psychologist to hypnotize him into trapping The Kingpin in an imaginary prison called Pussyland, based on a nursery rhyme that his grandmother used to sing to him as a child. Thester had the corpse of his diminutive grandmother taxidermied so he could use it as a puppet to sing the Pussyland song with. Eventually, The Kingpin must have taken over and trapped Fitz's true personality in Pussyland and now they had to stop them. Thester took Paradise P.D. to Fitz' Lair. On their way there, Thester would bring out his dead granny again sing more of the Pussyland song, which annoyed Randall into punching the old lady's head off. When they finally got there, The Legion of Dooooom had the surrounded at the entrance, revealing that Thester intentionally led them directly into a trap, which gave them the impression that he was evil all along. Thester assured them that he wasn't evil at first. He just became evil, shortly after Randall punched the head of his nana. Thester eventually went back to being a hero again and admitted that he had sex with his taxidermized grandmother's corpse, while also trying to say that he was a supporter of the #MeToo movement. When The Kingpin was finally defeated and Fitz returned to his normal self, Thester said that there was still a nuclear bomb headed toward Paradise, which everybody failed to stop. This led to Paradise getting nuked and turned into a giant pizza.
In "Showdown at the O-bese Corral", Thester returned, now looking very fat. He became a member of Weight Watchers and said that after completing his mission to help Fitz recover from his villainous ways, he's since fallen into a deep depression over discovering that he looks like Patton Oswalt. Out of depression, Thester ate his feelings away, which only made him so fat that he looked more like Patton Oswalt. Although Thester's initial goal was to lose weight, when Dusty Marlow took control of the organization, Thester decided to join Dusty's cult, where he paraded himself around town naked and vandalized everything. This eventually ended with him barricading himself and the rest of the cult in a Golden Corral, dousing the place in gasoline, and lighting it on fire, before Paradise P.D. had to come by and siege their compound.
Appearance[]
Thester Carbomb IV is a short, chubby, middle-aged, Caucasian man with pale white skin and dim dirty blond hair. He wears a baby barf green turtleneck, a maroon jacket, black pants, and black shoes. He has jagged teeth, with some of them missing and he has wrinkles on his forehead. He talks in a very whiny, high-pitched voice, projected through a cockney accent.
Personality[]
Thester Carbomb IV is a goofy and incompetent villainous sidekick to Gerald Fitzgerald, who persistently fails everything he tries, much to his boss' chagrin. Every time he makes a mistake or does something wrong, he gets so mad at himself that he threatens and attempts to kill himself out of anger. Despite being a villainous moron, Thester is very funny and makes tons of jokes, cheesy puns, sexual innuendos, and celebrity references to such prominent punching bags as Brett Michaels and Jim Carrey. Unfortunately, this gets in the way of his career, as he prioritizes being funny over being a diligent worker and will gladly risk a job well done for a lame joke, which drives his boss crazy. Thester gets him yelled at and beaten up a lot by Fitz, yet no matter how much pain and abuse he goes through, Thester still, so oafishly keeps proceeding to do the exact same things that got him beaten up before, only for the endless cycle of stupidity and suffering to keep repeating, ad infinitum. Overall, Thester is a pathetic and idiotic henchman and a comedic foil to his more intelligent and threatening superior, Gerald Fitzgerald.
Trivia[]
- Thester is loosely based on Count Olaf from A Series of Unfortunate Events.
- It is a semi-running gag for Thester to be compared to stand-up comedian, Patton Oswalt due to his appearance.
- Thester has sex with the taxidermy corpse of his diminutive grandmother.
- Thester is a proud "Wazer", meaning that he regularly uses the Waze app as his GPS.
- In "Flip the Vote", Thester repeatedly chanted "Lock her up!" in regards to mayoral candidate Karen Crawford, suggesting that he is a hater of Hillary Clinton, as this comment references a real political movement from 2016, originating from protesters who believed Hillary Clinton to be a criminal.
- Thester is a supporter of the #MeToo movement, despite the fact that he is guilty of sexual harassment, himself.
