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Dear Captain, so many questions. Make the most of an uncertain future. Enjoy yourself today. Tomorrow may never come at all.
„
~ Trelane to Kirk.
Trelane is an antagonist in the Star Trek franchise, appearing in the Star Trek: The Original Series episode "The Squire of Gothos".
He was portrayed by the late William Campbell, who later played Koloth in the TOS episode "The Trouble with Tribbles" as well as two episodes of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.
As the USS Enterprise passes by the planet Gothos, Captain James T. Kirk and Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu suddenly disappear from the ship's bridge, and strange messages transmitted from the planet's surface draws the attention of a landing party consisting of Dr. Leonard McCoy, LaSalle and Yeager that beams down to the surface, where they find a large castle. Entering, they find Kirk and Sulu frozen in place, and Trelane appears and introduces himself, releasing Kirk and Sulu.
Trelane then tells the Starfleet officers that he is responsible for abducting Kirk and Sulu, saying he saw their starship passing by and just couldn't help himself. He then tells them that they are guests or, more accurately, captive playmates for himself. Kirk refuses to go along with Trelane's wishes, and he and the rest of the officers manage to beam back aboard the Enterprise.
Unfortunately for them, Trelane suddenly appears aboard the ship's bridge and teleports them, along with Commander Spock, Lieutenant Uhura, and a yeoman, back down to his castle, where he verbally spars briefly with Spock (whom he dismisses as "ill-mannered"), offers the captive party a lavish meal, enchants Uhura to play his piano, and dances with the yeoman, for whom he fashions a proper dress.
As Trelane dances happily with the yeoman, Kirk, McCoy, and Spock surmise that Trelane, despite his immense power, has limits, since the food and drink he conjured contains no substance. Guessing that Trelane draws his power from a mirror he constantly stands in front of, Kirk challenges him to a duel. Trelane agrees, and arms himself and Kirk with pistols. Kirk shoots the mirror behind Trelane, damaging it and crippling Trelane long enough to allow himself and his comrades to beam back aboard the Enterprise.
Once back aboard the Enterprise, Kirk orders an escape course away from Gothos, only to find that the Enterprise keeps ending up on a collision course with the planet. He then leaves the bridge, only to find himself inside a courtroom where Trelane presides as the judge. Trelane sentences Kirk to death by hanging, and Kirk, fed up with his antics, agrees. Kirk then tells Trelane he's missing out on an opportunity to indulge in the victory of killing someone for sport, and Trelane agrees to pursue him in a chase.
Trelane then teleports Kirk to the surface of Gothos, and the chase begins. Kirk is eventually cornered, but he takes Trelane's sword and breaks it in half, and he slaps Trelane twice across the face.
Enraged, Trelane yells at Kirk, telling him he'll fix him for not playing the game right. Trelane's parents suddenly arrive, and scold him for his disobedient and cruel behavior, and tell him it's time to come in, but Trelane refuses, arguing that they saw him winning. Trelane's parents eventually take him away, and apologize to Kirk for their son's behavior.
Later History[]
Trelane managed to escape from the watchful eye of his parents and nanny a short time later. Learning of Earth's First World War, he became fascinated with the culture of Germany, and took after Earth's Red Baron (Manfred Albrecht Freiherr von Richthofen). Styling himself as Baron Trelane of Gothos, he abducted the crews of several Federation ships, including the USS Enterprise.
Kirk was able to get Trelane's nanny to take notice of Trelane's mischief. She arrived to take Trelane away, restoring all the ships and crews and promising that Trelane would be placed some place where he could not interfere with the physical universe.
Alternately Captain Kirk can talk Trelane into taking them to an accurate representation of a World War I battlefield, where Kirk convinces Trelane that war should not be romantically idealized. Getting bored with Kirk, Trelane goes away, restoring the ships and crews he abducted in the process.
In the Star Trek: The Next Generation novel Q-Squared by Peter David, Trelane is revealed to be a member of the Q Continuum, something fans had speculated on for quite some time, and that the main Q known to the crew of the USS Enterprise-D is his mentor.
In the course of the novel, multiple realities are in play, including one wherein Trelane is corrupted by rage and jealousy. Merging with the local Trelane, this evil one becomes an outright menace, even to Q himself, who narrowly survives being dispersed through time and space, even becoming the energy field that empowered Kirk's friend Gary Mitchell.
Eventually, 1701-D crews from different realities join together with Q against Trelane, whom Q is seemingly forced to destroy. As he leaves, Q half-heartedly denies being the junior being's true father. To Q's delight, he finds a remnant of the immature Q, a child again and asking for guidance, which Q hopes he'll do a better job with this time around.
Trelane also appears in the videogame Star Trek: Judgement Rites where he impersonates a WWI german baron and triplane pilot.
Quotes[]
“
I must say, they make a perfectly exquisite display pair, but I suppose you want them back now.
„
~ Trelane's first lines
“
Welcome to an island of peace on my stormy little planet of Gothos.
„
~ Trelane, to the landing party
“
You must excuse my whimsical way of fetching you here, but when I saw you passing by, I simply could not resist.
„
~ Trelane, to the landing party
“
Ah, so you're the captain of these brave lads. My greetings and felicitations, Captain. So good of you and your officers to drop in. Absolutely smashing.
„
~ Trelane, to Kirk
“
General Trelane, retired. At your service, sirs. My home is your home.
„
~ Trelane, to the landing party
“
I can't tell you how delighted I am to have visitors from the very planet that I've made my hobby. Yes, but according to my observations, I didn't think you capable of such voyages.
„
~ Trelane, to the landing party
“
Ah, yes. I've been looking in on the doings on your lively little Earth.
„
~ Trelane
“
Oh, really? Have I made an error in time? How fallible of me. Oh, I did so want to make you feel at home. I'm quite proud of the detail.
„
~ Trelane
“
Retired, sir. Just Squire Trelane now. And you may call me "Squire." Yes, I rather fancy that.
„
~ Trelane
“
Imprisoned? Nonsense. You're my guests. You see, I just finished my studies of your curious and fascinating society. You came by at the most propitious moment. I want to know all about your campaigns, your battles, your missions of conquest.
„
~ Trelane
“
Ah, but that's the official story, eh?
„
~ Trelane, to Kirk's claim that their mission is one of peace rather than conquest
“
I wouldn't hear of it. You shall join me in a repast. I want to learn all about your feelings on war and killing and conquest, that sort of thing. Do you know that you're one of the few predator species that preys even on itself?
„
~ Trelane
“
DeSalle, did you say? Un vrai Francais?
„
~ Trelane, to Lieutenant DeSalle
“
Ah, monsieur. Vive la gloire. Vive Napoleon. You know, I admire your Napoleon very much.
„
~ Trelane, to DeSalle
“
''Und Offizier Jaeger, und der deutsche Soldat, nein? Eins, zwei, drei, vier. Gehen vir mit dem Schiessgewehr.
„
~ Trelane, to Lieutenant Jaeger
“
Oh, come now. We're all military men under the skin. And how we do love our uniforms.
„
~ Trelane
“
What an interesting weapon you've got there. Do let me see it. [...] Yes. Now let me see. How does this work? Ah, yes. This won't kill, and this will.
„
~ Trelane, examining a phaser
“
Oh, how marvelous!
„
~ Trelane, after seeing the effects of a phaser set on "kill"
“
Oh, how absolutely typical of your species. You don't understand something, so you become fearful.
„
~ Trelane
“
Dear Captain, your inquiries are becoming tiresome. I want you to be happy. Free yourself of care. Let's enjoy ourselves in the spirit of martial good fellowship.
„
~ Trelane, to Kirk
“
Tut, tut, tut. You're being quite rude. You can't go. Apparently, you need another demonstration of my authority. Yes, quite.
„
~ Trelane, to Kirk, before teleporting him outside and exposing him to Gothos' toxic atmosphere
“
Now, you will behave yourself hereafter, won't you? Or I shall be very, very angry.
„
~ Trelane, to Kirk
“
And this, of course, is an array of your battle flags and pennants dating back to the Crusades, to Hannibal's invaders, the Grecian war galleys, and the hordes of Persia. Can't you imagine it, Captain? The thousands of men marching off to their deaths, singing beneath these banners. Doesn't it make your blood run swiftly?
„
~ Trelane, to Kirk
“
Discussing deep-laid plans, I'll wager. I cannot wait to see them evolve.
„
~ Trelane
“
Tut, tut. Do not think that I deplore your martial virtue of deception and stratagem. Quite the contrary. I have nothing but admiration for your whole species.
„
~ Trelane
“
Women? Do you mean that you actually have members of the fairer sex among your crew? Oh, how charming. And they must be all very beautiful. And I shall be so very gallant to them.
„
~ Trelane
“
I can do anything I want. I should think you would have realized that by now.
„
~ Trelane
“
Wait! I won't have this! I haven't dismissed you yet. Stop! I won't have this!
„
~ Trelane, after the landing party is beamed back aboard the Enterprise
“
Where are all your weapons, Captain? Don't you display your weapons?
„
~ Trelane, after suddenly appearing on the Enterprise's bridge
“
Surely not an officer. He isn't quite human, is he?
„
~ Trelane, on seeing Spock
“
Nonsense. I have an absolutely enchanting sojourn on Gothos planned for all of you, and you shan't spoil it for me. Anyway, the decor of my drawing room is much more appropriate and tasteful. Don't you agree?
„
~ Trelane, teleporting the bridge crew to his mansion
“
Oh, what primitive fury. Why, he's the very soul of sublime savagery.
„
~ Trelane
“
Ah, a Nubian prize. [...] Taken on one of your raids of conquest, no doubt, Captain. [...] She has the melting eyes of the Queen of Sheba, the same lovely coloring. And this. Is this the face that launched a thousand ships and burnt the topless towers of Ilium? Fair Helen, make me immortal with a kiss.
„
~ Trelane, to Uhura and Yeoman Ross
“
I don't know if I like your tone. It's most challenging. That's what you're doing, challenging me?
„
~ Trelane, to Spock
“
Oh, Mister Spock, you do have one saving grace after all: you're ill-mannered. The human half of you, no doubt.
„
~ Trelane, to Spock
“
Well, I do believe the dear Captain is jealous of me.
„
~ Trelane
“
Oh, how curiously human. How wonderfully barbaric.
„
~ Trelane
“
A matched set. Just like the pair that slew your heroic Alexander Hamilton. And Captain, I never miss.
„
~ Trelane, accepting Kirk's challenge
“
Oh, how fascinating. I'm party to an actual human duel.
„
~ Trelane
“
It's my game and my rules, but if you need to be persuaded...
„
~ Trelane, preparing to shoot Spock
“
And now, Captain, how do you have the expression? My fate is in your hands.
„
~ Trelane, to Kirk
“
You've ruined everything!
„
~ Trelane, after Kirk shoots his mirror
“
Oh, the remarkable treachery of the species.
„
~ Trelane
“
You've earned my wrath. Go back. Go back to your ship, all of you, and prepare. You're all dead men. You especially, Captain.
„
~ Trelane
“
Oh, the absurdity of these inferior beings. [...] And now, Captain James Kirk, you stand accused of the high crime of treason against a superior authority, conspiracy, and the attempt to foment insurrection. How do you plead?
„
~ Trelane, acting as judge to Kirk
“
Silence! This trial is over. You are guilty. On all counts, you are guilty. And according to your own laws, this court has no choice in fixing punishment. You will hang by the neck, Captain, until you are dead, dead, dead!
„
~ Trelane, to Kirk
“
Until a moment ago, I didn't think it possible, but it was. [...] I did it. I was angry. I actually experienced genuine rage. This experiment has been successful.
„
~ Trelane, to Kirk
“
You still haven't learned. You have no choice. Oh, this is becoming quite tiresome. It's all so very easy.
„
~ Trelane, to Kirk
“
You must try harder, Captain! This is too easy!
„
~ Trelane, chasing Kirk on Gothos
“
Yes, but this is such sport. I must fetch all the others back to play. So this is victory. It has a sweet taste.
„
~ Trelane, to Kirk
“
You broke it! You broke my sword!
„
~ Trelane, to Kirk
“
I'll fix you for that! You cheated! You haven't played the game right. I'll show you!
„
~ Trelane, to Kirk
“
No! No. You said I could have this planet.
„
~ Trelane, to his parents
“
You always stop me when I'm having fun.
„
~ Trelane, to his parents
“
But I don't want to come in, and I won't. I'm a general, and I won't listen to you.
„
~ Trelane, to his parents
“
Oh, but you said I could. You promised. I never have any fun.
„
~ Trelane, to his parents
“
I would have. I would have. I would have. I would. I would. I would. I would.