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| “ | I'm Tucker Carlson and I don't like you either. | „ |
| ~ Tucker Carlson |
Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson is a supporting antagonist in Paradise P.D. Based on the right-wing influencer of the same name, he is depicted here as a coward who spreads false news and blames everything going on in the world for his small penis. He first appeared in "Parent Trap", but didn't serve as a major antagonist until the episode "Tucker Carlson is a Huge Dick", where it was revealed that he was actually a giant anthropomorphic penis.
Biography[]
In "Parent Trap", Tucker Carlson told fake stories on FOX News about the Romani terrorizing America. Randall and Karen Crawford believed every word of his lies, and went into an absolute frenzy, worrying about the onslaught of them. It would later turn out at the end of the episode that Tucker Carlson was only spreading this false news because he felt insecure about his genitalia and needed some kind of enemy to blame it on.
In "Tucker Carlson is a Huge Dick", Tucker Carlson used his platform once again to spread seemingly false news about a feminist terrorist organization known as Gal-Qaeda, but would later turn out that Gal-Qaeda was actually real. However, it was Tucker who created them, having women who work for FOX News dress as feminists and go out to do all the things he told them to do. Apparently, Tucker's evil plan was to dissolve the genitals of every man in the world so that he wouldn't have to feel so bad about having a small penis instead being able to be proud of his sole existing penis.
Tucker Carlson would soon find out that the reason for him having such a tiny penis was because he, himself was actually a gigantic anthropomorphic penis, just covered in clothes and hair so he looked like a human. Gal-Qaeda had recently captured Gerald Fitzgerald and Thester Carbomb IV at this time. The two of them escaped and got into a fight with Tucker Carlson, and Fitz threw Tucker into a vat of acidic chemicals and Thester turned down the temperature to make Tucker shrink and fall into the vat of acid, leading to him dissolving to death.
Following his death, Tucker Carlson's role as a Republican conservative panelist on FOX News was replaced by Bill O'Reilly, who had a giant anus for a face.
Despite dying in his previous appearance, Tucker Carlson returned in "PARAD-ISIS" as a member of the International Society of Insulted Selebrities, terrorizing the wedding chapel and planning to blow up all of the cops of Paradise P.D., having been offended by the way he was portrayed on the show. Gina Jabowski was able to defeat him by shoving his head into Bill O'Reilly's face, simulating anal penetration.
