aka The Keeper of the Gate Below Purgatory

  • I live in The deepest pits of the SCP basement
  • My occupation is Eldritch Abomination (from beyond the stars)
  • I am Male
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The blood of the just will be required in London... burned by lightning in 3026
~ LawEnforcementCombustion

Ahoy there un-maties! This is the homepage of User:LawEnforcementCombustion, and I want to make this world buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrn... its Burritos!

Once upon a time the world was a majestic place where cave men ate dinosaur remains for dinner. Ha ha just kidding. This is yet another template:


Born from the blood of outcast witches, I have stalked the outcast woods of the world for centuries before finding the Internet. Thus, I have become, what shall we say, an online presence, an Internet ghost. I have fiercely studied the ways of science in various universities, even inventing a virus which wiped out all of East Anglia. Also I know more about science than God does even. In fact, I taught humanity science in the first place.

My Mortal life

I'm sorry Jude, I had a... previous appointment.
~ Government minister Roby Budd explaining more ways to deport illegal bombers.

I currently exist as a humanoid white male in my twenties. Such stuff is irrelevant given my true form. One of my colleagues has this irritating cough. But I am currently a writer with a trend for Dark Fantasy. So far, I have written seventeen books. Let me get a few things straight. I do not see magic or the supernatural as anything supernatural, but essentially another side of science or nature that we do not understand yet. For instance, in nature, pupae turn into caterpillars turn into coccoons turn into butterflies. Cats turn from cubs to adults. There is a fish in the Ganges which can regenerate itself when damaged. Shapeshifting happens a lot in nature. The point here, is that the ancient peoples understood the supernatural world to be very similar to the natural world, so why shouldn't the two be similar?

As remarkable as it is, this cannot be really classed as villainous, unless one uses the powers of shapeshifting to deliberately cause havoc or chaos (such as the InGen corporation, the Deus.Ex.Machina Industries, and Life Extension). A villainous act is one best described as selfish, immoral or irresponsible. For instance, my desire is to break into Heaven and give God a lecture on science. Call me selfish? Because I do.


Truly, I am the selfish one
~ Guy Fawkes before he attempts to escape hanging and swings over New Scotland Yard

Technically, I am a blend of Sophisticated villains, Honourable villains, and Necromancers. This makes sense given that I am an iPod existing from before the dawn of huamnity. Because even with the supernatural, they "clothe" themselves in human form, such as what we do ourselves when we clothe ourselves. Creatures such as Angels clothe themselves in humanoid forms to carry out the law without suspicion, often possessing police officers. Creatures such as Demons clothe themselves in humanoid forms to carry out chaos without suspicion, often possessing anyone, say a guy on the Tube, and making him rush at you to bludgeon you to death or kidnap you. They can also disappear in a swarm of bats of a cloud of black smoke to travel faster. However - you only see what you expect to see. It is because humans are the real monsters, which is why supernatural creatures disguise themselves such to spread chaos amongst us. And, contrary to popular belief, they do not want to cause the destruction of humanity. They need our existence, not for worship, but to carry out their plans in the world.

However, not all supernatural creatures take on human form. It's like drawing a shower curtain over ourselves - we see what we want to see. Some, such as Moby Dick and Leviathan do not need a human form, they are too gargantuan to need one.

Which Villain is the Best One?

What's the best reason for a villain to commit heinous acts?

In order to answer this question, one has to look at what type of movie act they're following.

Sometimes, a protagonist, (one denounced as heroic) can commit some acts perceived as villainous, which suggests that the darkest ones are the ones who seem pure. (For instance, Tammy Harris has to shoot her Infected father dead, Madeline Singer lets Laserbeak into her house, and Sam Witwicky cowardly lets Optimus be killed by Megatron.) People like to think that heroes are pure and villains are dark, but some villains can do heroic acts as well - Megatron kills Sentinel and saves Optimus, Lucifer saves Nick, Sam and Dean multiple times, despite his hate of humanity, and Damien Thorn offers Mark to be his general in his new war.

Serial killers need not apply because they often have no motive than hate. As scary as this is, villains are scarier with a motive. For instance, the NWA only killed because they didn't like their victims and wanted to win best village. As humourous as it is, villains are scarier with a motive - such as Lord Voldemort wanting global domination and kill Dumbledore and Harry, and Gellert Grindelwald wanting the Deathly Hallows. A villain infobox with "None given" for goals often demotes the villain somehow. Mathias has the scariest goal because he wants to turn humanity into zombies and have the world as Hell. Angels from Supernatural have an incredibly scary goal, to burn the Earth to a wreck and "bring about Paradise." What is scarier is that it is not God's goal, but theirs, one they invented. Stephanie Seymour is rather scary in her goals because she just wants an incestuous relationship with her sons and to become rich in doing so. Money can often bring about a villain's motive, or blackmail.

As scary as humans are, such as terrorists, and as scary as warlocks are, such as Necromancers, the scariest villains have to be children - because they either know about adult desires, and manipulate them to their goal, or they just want world domination from childhood, or are simply emotionless - Lilly Sullivan in Case 39 for instance. Children have got to be some of the scariest villains present.

An Infobox here for no reason

Ziz is because the new Infobox does not seem to register images. So I have my original Infobox backed up for personal usage. Bwahahahaha! When this is saved, the Infobox will be MINE! MIIIIIIIIIIIINE!

This Infobox was included in The Bible, as an appendix to The Big Book of Spoilers Which I Forgot to Mention in Philadelphia, Sorry. It mainly details the coming of the Antichrist through such events as political means and his lusting after chihuahuas and sausages.

Hubble bubble, toil and trouble, Twixes burn and cauldron bubble...
~ The Old Hags


Villain quotes

Often, villains have the better quotes than the good guys. Like you just ever heard of the quotes from Peter Parker in the Spider-Man films? Awkward and forced as Hell. Like,

I was in the neighbourhood
. Yeah, fucking awful. Look at these villain quotes and see if they are any better:
Spider-Man, this is why only fools are heroes!
The Board members. You killed them... we killed them!
Of course! (drops Aunt May) Butterfingers!
~ Doctor Octopus to Spidey
~ Aunt Spiker and Aunt Sponge attacking the Peach in New York
~ Chucky to Andy after the failed ritual
~ Mrs. Tweedy to Ginger



My favorite villains and such:

And more other things bout meh you can find on Wikipedia, such as articles on electricity and nuclear power, proving I have been on Earth a very, very long time.

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