| “ | Nick Laemle: Michael, are you ready to behave? I thought I'd tell you a little story? Want to hear a story? I'll tell you a little story and I want you to shut up until I'm finished. Michael Laemle: You eat people. Nick Laemle: I've been watching you, Michael. You're an outsider, you're not like them. You're like us. Michael Laemle: I don't love you any more. Lily Laemle: Yes, you do. Nick Laemle: We're bound for life, no matter how much you hate us. I'm untying, and when you're free, you can sit down with us and eat, or you could run outside and shout your little secret to the world. And you know what they'll do, Michael, hmm? They'll come here and they'll burn us. Is that what you want? You want to see them burn your parents? |
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| ~ Nick forcing Michael to be like him and his wife and eat human meat. |
Randy Quaid actually playing someone serious? Why I'd never!
Alright, you all know what time it is... it's the one, the only, the most horrifying month of the year! And of course that means we need appropriately themed candidates. Let's begin!
What’s The Work?[]
Parents is a frankly underrated 1989 horror-comedy movie starring Randy Quaid, Mary Beth Hurt, and Bryan Madorsky. It focuses on a kid named Michael Laemle, who lives in a seemingly bright neighborhood with his kind and loving parents. Little does he know that both are hiding a nasty secret...
Who is Nick Laemle and What Has He Done?[]
Nick Laemle is at first a polite and charming husband and parent, who loves to devour human meat. We first see Nick moving from Massachusetts into California, and doing fun activities such as dancing, baking, golfing, cooking, etc. One night, Michael hears his parents discuss some topics and when Michael tells him that he's scared of the dark, Nick calmly explains that he doesn't need to worry before tucking him in and wishing him sweet dreams. Nick then heads back downstairs for a "midnight snack" with Lilly, his wife.
Michael wakes up due to a nightmare and briefly talks to Lily while she's cooking in the kitchen, before watching Nick play a round of golf. Nick later has Michael hold up a flashlight in the cellar to check his wine collection and the temperature, in the meantime giving him a warning that there will be big "changes" coming to him now that they are in their residence. When Michael arrives home from school, Nick discusses with his parents at the dinner table about his experiences with a girl he met named Shella Zellner, but Nick tells him to be quiet and consume the meat.
Michael accidentally catches his parents having sex, so they take him back to the bedroom. Michael draws a disturbing thing regarding his parents at school to his teacher, which his counselor, Millie Dew, takes notice and schedules a conference with Lily the next day regarding his behavior. Meanwhile, Nick heads to his company, Toxico with Michael to discuss a project involving the usage of chemicals on jungles. Michael meets Marty Zellner, Shella's dad who gives him a pen. Nick organizes a meeting between both families, which goes surprisingly well.
Michael watches Nick cook as he gives him his breakfast while giving him what initially seems to be advice about life. Michael meets Millie who shows concern for him. Nick then goes to Toxico, where it's revealed that he secretly slays innocents and brings them to his workplace to dissect their remains, cooking and devouring the meat afterwards. After a montage of Lily preparing meat and Michael having a vision of it enveloping him, Michael once again refuses to eat the meat at the dinner table, with Nick expressing frustration as Michael heads off to bed and having a nightmare.
Michael bonds with Shelia in his house, but when they both hop in the freezer and Nick catches them, Nick proceeds to threaten Michael not to talk or see Shelia ever again, while declaring his loathing for him. Lily disobeys and lets Michael do exactly that. Shelia talks about her parents and convinces Michael to check his father to see what he really gets up to. Michael sneaks in and finds the meat locker filled with the corpses from earlier. Nick himself proceeds to cut open one as Michael hides. As Michael tries to head home, Nick, while driving home, sees Michael and brings him home rudely. Michael lies to his parents at the dinner tables and Nick makes another threat to end his life. Michael goes to sleep only to wake up from another nightmare.
Michael goes to his parents' room and down into the basement to discover Nick's cleaving knife and hookers, one containing a severed leg. Nick however gets up and forces Michael back to sleep. Michael then confesses to Millie that everything involving his parents are real. Millie visits the home, only to discover another dead body in a window. Unfortunately, Nick and Lily arrive home at the exact same time. And while Michael manages to go to his room, Millie gets shut in the pantry and Nick plays a twisted game of try to avoid the knife. Millie of course loses and dies by getting whacked in the head with Nick's golf club. Nick then cooks her and although Michael hits his father with another golf club, Nick manages to get up and tie up Michael to a chair in the dinner table.
Nick then goes on to tell Michael that he had been spying on him the entire time. Michael then tries to denounce his parents, but Nick then tries to force him to consume the human flesh, piece by piece. Nick also reveals he had Lily gain a lust for it like he did. Michael however stabs Nick in the shoulder and Nick tries to murder him while Lily desperately tries getting his hands off Michael. Nick then coldly tells Lily they'll just make another kid and raise him better this time. Lily, having enough, stabs Nick in the back, freeing Michael. Sadly, Nick gains the upper hand on Lily and stabs her in the stomach, which is fatal. Nick then chases after Michael in one last attempt to claim his life, but Nick, due to the multiple injuries he had received, accidentally disconnects the gas line and collapses into his shelf filled with wine and is pinned under. With no chance of leaving, Nick remains to perish when the house explodes. In the last scene, Michael moves over with his grandparents far away and when it's bed time, they place a sandwich for breakfast near his bed. However, due to the appearance of the meat, it is highly likely that they inspired Nick in the first place.
Heinous Standards?[]
He's definitely bad enough for a horror work. Nick butchers and eats a dozen plus a couple of more people, while keeping the corpses in his meat locker to eventually slice and dice their corpses. He also proceeds to kill the school counselor Millie Dew, his own wife Lily, and attempts to murder his son Michael as well. While his wife is a cannibal, Nick forced her into becoming one, and while Nick's grandparents are implied to be cannibals as well, their victim count is offscreen, which makes Nick the most evil character in the entire flick.
Mitigating Factors?[]
Not a lick of anything. He explicitly makes it clear to Michael that he despises him from the beginning and later tries to end his life while disposing of Lily when she tries to save Michael from him. He acts charismatic and nice but it's to avoid suspicion of his wrongdoings. While his grandparents have some involvement in Nick turning out the way he is, there's no actual indication that he really cares or loves them back.
Oh, and despite him being in a comedic work? He's played serious enough. While Nick cracks some jokes here and there, he drops it as the film goes on and his actions are explicitly treated as horrendous and despicable, with Lily going as far as to save Michael when she realizes Nick intends to kill him.
Final Verdict?[]
Easy yes to the (not) Hannibal Lecter.