|“||Vogons. They are one of the most unpleasant races in the galaxy. Not actually evil, but bad-tempered, bureaucratic, officious, and callous. They wouldn't even lift a finger to save their own grandmothers from the ravenous Bug-Blatter Beast of Traal without orders signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, lost, found, queried, subjected to public inquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighter. On no account should you allow a Vogon to read poetry to you.||„|
|~ The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy|
The Vogons are a powerful and hostile alien race, and the most iconic villains in Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide series. They are responsible for the destruction of Earth in the beginning of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, via a "Vogon Constructor Fleet" led by Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz.
Vogons are described as being a bit larger and bulkier than humans, and extremely ugly and unplesant to see or smell. Their domed noses rise high over their small, piggy foreheads, and their thick rubbery skin is dark green in color. They are also waterproof and can survive indefinitely up to a thousand feet underwater, though in the case of Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz, their busy schedules never allow time for swimming.
The Vogons originate from their home planet of Vogsphere. As soon as they crawled out of the oceans, it is said that Evolution itself was so disgusted by the Vogons that it declared them a mistake and they never evolved again. Despite this, plus the fact that they had a malformed and misplaced liver where their brain should be, the Vogons survived to the present day through sheer thick-headed stubborness, as well as corrective surgery.
Seemingly as an apology to existence for the creation of Vogons, the other life-forms of Vogsphere were more aesthetically pleasing, though this didn't stop the Vogons from exploiting or otherwise killing them en masse for fun and profit: sparkling jewel-shelled crabs would be smashed with mallets for their meat, breathtakingly massive trees were cut down for firewood, and dewy-eyed gazelle-like creatures were captured and sat upon (not for riding, as their spines would snap instantly under the weight of a Vogon, but they sat on them regardless). In recent years, they would develop spacefaring technology, and emigrate to the Brantisvogon star cluster, where they formed most of the Galactic bureaucracy, most notably in the Vogon Constructor Fleets (which, despite their name, patrol the galaxy demolishing planets).
After demolishing Earth, it was repaired by the dolphins. Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz sought out to kill the two human beings in the universe to prevent the earth 10 million year program to find the ultimate question fron being completed, as instructed by Gag Halfrunt: if the Ultimate Question was ever found, philosophers everywhere would be out of a job. As the Golgafrinchans arrived the earth, extinct some species including the cavemen and evolved to modern humans, the program was already broken. However, he did not know it. He seemingly succeeds in the fifth book, but the main characters got saved by Zephod Beeblebrox who brought them to a human colony on the planet Nano in the sixth book. He tried to destroy Nano, but was stopped by his son, Constant Mown, who likes humans.
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